Script idea number 2!
I'm considering a last minute change to my storyboard. After properly formatting my first Script of the ordeal, I have found that it may be a bit long. I have only just gotten under the max amount for storyboard panels for it.
Also the short 60 second scene is the whole fight between the Monster and Mingxia. It's supposed to be one of the boss battles, not the top one, but still crucial. It shouldn't be told in 60 seconds, like I tried. I thought that I would have to use the whole fight scene to get my point across.
Though after some discussion in a group of classmates, they agreed it would be difficult to fit all that information in under such short time. I did appreciate their feedback, it was helpful, but I didn't pay heed to it straightaway, hoping that I would find a way to fit the whole fight in.
I'm a bit worried because I've changed it so late, especially after doing a lot of work on the first idea. But it was only after doing this work that I discovered that I could go about it differently, without going far from my first concept.
(shots 7-12)
I thought they looked pretty good and I did so much, now I might not even have a lantern :(
After further thought while formatting my first script concept, I discovered I should've listened straightaway. A classmate offered that I could do a mainly dialogue scene. I considered it, but Mingxia is more of a 'actions speak louder than words' type of character. Someone who shows her feelings through fighting. But I agreed that dialogue would be easier and it could be a maturing and learning point for Mingxia. A point where she can admit her feelings, instead of just hiding them.
So I decided that I'd still have a fight scene, but it will be near the end of her fight with Jaw-long instead. That way I can cut out the introductory parts where they find out who the monster is, and they go straight into it. I can cut out a lot of unnecessary dialogue by hinting that it has already been discussed, so I can use just the main important parts.
Here's my second attempt:
EXT. ROCKS IN A ROCKY ROUGH SEA - STORM - JAW-LONG’S ISLAND
A big storm makes the waves and sea that surrounds JAW-LONG’S Island very rough and dangerous. The sea is filled with tall jagged rocks,which JAAKKO and MINGXIA are using for cover from the Sea Monster that JAW-LONG commands.
MINGXIA is knocked away by the sea monster and roughly lands on a rock, JAAKKO quickly steps in front and knocks away the monsters claws from making impact. The monster/JAW-LONG stands tall over them, hot glowing steam pouring from his mouth.
MONSTER/JAW-LONG
I have told you! I, the Great Jaw-long, will not let you pass!
Mingxia struggles to stand up, despite Jaakko’s efforts to keep her from lunging out.
MINGXIA
I know that you have taken Sianlor’s guardian...
Mingxia grabs her sheathed sword. Jaakko looks concerned but makes no effort to stop her. She unsheathes it and transforms.
MINGXIA
I didn’t want to have to do this. Time to get serious now. Since you refuse to return him, I will destroy you.
Mingxia lunges at him. He swings his tail at her, she dodges, propelling off another rock, and missing his claws.
MINGXIA
(clearly getting distraught)I promised to protect him! And you took him!
MONSTER/JAW-LONG
Why are you doing this?? I am saving Sianlor!You don't know who he is or what he is doing.
The beast knocks her away into a rock with his tail, winding her.He standS tall over her body, his mouth lighting up. Suddenly Jaakko’s spear impales the monsters eye, making him roar and thrash. Mingxia jumps up, sword above her head, ready to swing.
MINGXIA
He’s my friend.
Sword makes contact.
I feel like this scene is necessary because I'm not planning the up-and-personal fight with Jaw-long himself to be that dramatic. Although Jaw-Long is strong, he mainly fights with his control of monsters and beasts. So he will be fairly overpowered when Mingxia fights him. Her main scene there will be finding out the truth about Jianquo in that part. So here is the first time she actually encounters him, a tough fight so you have a dangerous feel about Jaw-Long before you meet him. Though it's not face to face, it's a scene where she begins to show her own personal reasons for wanting to save Jianquo, not just for the sake of the City.
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